As promised, here is my battle report following The Tank Paint Wars, 3 October 2009.
Key protagonists: Simone “speed demon” D, Owen “lightening” B, Stefan “trigger happy” and his son vs an unsurpassed enemy.
Combat vehicle: FV432 fitted with turret and 40mm paintball cannon. Battlefield: Southfields Farm, Husbands Bosworth, Leicestershire. With sheep. Mission: Operation Takedown.
We arrived at Southfields at 1130, ready to prepare for battle. Kitted out in olive drab tank crewman overalls and helmets (otherwise known as Olive Drab teletubbies), we were out onto the field. Each soldier received a driving, target and loading practice session. We learnt how to drive the “tank”. All persons posed for the war photographer (see combat gallery below), propaganda-style.
Then, with eyes of steel, they got down to the business of tactics and strategy. Our team leader, aka “Manstein“, told us to drive quick and clean, shout loud and fire fast. Drinkwater to drive. Beesley to load. Stefan to fire. We knew what we had to do. Then he broke the news we would be facing the elite force Instructors. Oddly numbered, our team of reprobates would fight the mighty men of Armourgeddon.
Yet there may have been fear in our hearts but not on our faces. We would survive and conquer. This was war!
Tanks growled into action. Speed Demon Drinkwater was off. Levers cranked, dust flew, sheep cowered. Yes, sheep. Everywhere. We rushed to the first checkpoint. Fire! Fire! Fire! On to the next. Load. Fire! And again. The battle rushed past in a fury of cannon fire, engine smoke and battle cry. It was over as quickly as it began.
Yet, somehow, the Olive Drab teletubbies were unscathed and claiming victory. 8 kills vs 7. More hits closer to the target and quicker that our adversaries. The underdogs had won!
All in all a fantastic day out was had by all, and I heartily recommend it to anyone who fancies learning how to drive a tank and fighting against friend and foe paintball-style! In the meantime, I’m now saving up for their Military Vehicle driving day. I’m hooked!